Therapy for women who don’t know what to do with the anger and rage they feel.

You’re the calm one. The reasonable one. The one who says “it’s fine” and means “I’ll deal with it later, by myself.” You’ve swallowed it, softened it, and apologized for it, and now you’re tired of being so easy to be around. You see a new reason to be furious every day, and it feels like no one is paying attention. You’re beyond fed up. Anger doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It usually means something mattered and you weren’t allowed to say so.

In therapy, your anger doesn’t have to be managed, fixed, or made smaller. We let it breathe, and we find out what it’s been trying to tell you.

Therapy for anger & rage
You feel an anger in your bones. Your rage feels larger than anything your body can contain. Being angry does not equate you with being out of control, and it certainly does not mean something is wrong with you. We look at where yours comes from, what it’s protecting, and what it needs, without trying to shrink it.

Therapy for resentment
Resentment makes sense when you’ve given a lot and gotten little back. We treat it as information about your limits, not proof that something is wrong with you.

Therapy for people-pleasing and rage about societal expectations
You can be kind without being on call. The fire inside of you is not meant to keep everyone else warm. We work on what you’ve been losing by keeping everyone else comfortable, and on finding your voice again.

Therapy for women who feel guilty about their anger
The guilt is often louder than the anger. We untangle the two and look at where you learned that your anger wasn’t allowed.

What we do in session
I’m warm, direct, and relational, with a little humor, and we go at your pace. Together we:

• Give your anger room, without anyone telling you it’s too much

• Look at where you learned that being “good” meant being quiet

• Name what the anger is protecting, whether that’s hurt, grief, fear, or boundaries that were crossed

• Work with the body as well as the story, using a trauma-informed and creative approach, since anger often lives there first

• Separate guilt from responsibility, so you can tell what’s actually yours to carry

• Practice saying no, asking for what you need, and handling what follows

• Make room for grief, since there’s often a lot under the anger

I won’t tell you to calm down or look on the bright side. The goal isn’t to get rid of your anger. It’s to understand it and choose what to do with it.

What feeling better can look like
You can feel angry without spiraling into guilt. You say what you mean and let the silence sit. You stop apologizing for having needs. Your anger tells you something, and you can listen to it. You’re no longer the easy one if that costs you yourself, and the people who matter can handle the real you.

You might relate if you:

Bury it

• Say “it’s fine” when it’s not, then replay the conversation for hours

• Feel guilty or ashamed after you get angry, even when you had every reason to

• Were called “difficult,” “dramatic,” or “too much” for having a reaction

• Learned early that keeping everyone comfortable was your job

• Feel like you don’t deserve to be angry because others had it worse

Feel it everywhere else

• Feel rage that seems out of proportion, then wonder what’s wrong with you

• Snap at the wrong people or feel numb and exhausted when it gets too big

• Carry resentment toward people you love, and feel guilty about that too

• Notice it in your body, such as a clenched jaw, tight chest, headaches, or pain no one can explain

• Fantasize about disappearing, quitting, or letting everyone figure it out without you

Are tired of being accommodating

• Feel like you’ve lost yourself to keep other people comfortable

• Struggle to say no or set a boundary without a spiral of guilt

• Are expected to be understanding, patient, and available, always

• Are tired of reading the room and managing everyone’s feelings but your own

• Want to take up space and don’t know where to start

 I’m Gina Sacino, MS, LCAT, a Licensed Creative Arts Therapist in Rochester, NY, providing virtual therapy throughout New York State.