Whether you’ve always known or you’re still working it out, you’ve probably been asked to explain yourself more than you’d like. By family, by friends, by strangers, and maybe by a voice in your own head. Therapy is a place where you don’t have to justify your answer. We can look at what you want, what you’ve been told you should want, and what comes up when those two things don’t match.

Therapy for childfree women
You don’t need a diagnosis, a trauma story, or a good enough reason. If you know you don’t want kids, therapy can help you stop defending the decision and start enjoying the life you’re building around it.

Therapy for women who don’t want kids
Not wanting children is a valid answer, not a wound waiting to be fixed. We can look at the guilt, the family pressure, and the grief that sometimes comes with it, without anyone trying to talk you into or out of anything.

Therapy for women who are undecided
Maybe you don’t know, and the pressure to decide is part of the problem. We can slow it down, sort out what’s yours from what’s expectation, and make room for ambivalence.

What we do in session
I’m warm, direct, and relational, with a little humor, and we go at your pace. Together we:

• Separate what you want from what you were taught to want

• Look at how your family roles shaped the way you think about caregiving, if that’s part of your story

• Work through guilt about disappointing your family, and handle the conversations that go with it

• Hold space for grief and fear, even when you’re confident in your choice

• Work on boundaries with the people who keep asking

• Explore how to build a life, relationships, and sense of legacy that feel like yours

I won’t try to talk you into or out of anything. The goal is that whatever you choose, you choose it freely.

You might relate if you:

Feel the pressure

• Are tired of hearing “you’ll change your mind” or “who will take care of you when you’re old?”

• Feel guilty or like a disappointment to your mother, your family, or your culture

• Are a child of immigrants, and your choice feels like it carries more weight than it would for others

• Feel like the one in your friend group who is expected to explain herself

Are working out what’s yours

• Feel like you already raised kids, whether siblings, a parent, or the whole family

• Wonder whether your decision is really yours or a reaction to your childhood, and are afraid of the answer either way

• Feel ambivalent, and are scared that not knowing means you’ll make the wrong choice

• Feel grief about the choice, even though you’re sure of it

Navigate life with your choice

• Are dating or partnered with someone who wants a different future

• Are queer and navigating questions about family, fertility, and legacy

• Worry about regret, loneliness, or what it means to build a life without kids

• Want to feel settled in your decision instead of defending it

What feeling better can look like
You can say “I’m not having kids” without a speech. You can feel guilt without treating it as proof you’re wrong. You know the difference between a decision made out of fear and one made out of clarity. You have people who support the life you’re building, and a life that feels like yours.

I’m Gina Sacino, MS, LCAT, a Licensed Creative Arts Therapist in Rochester, NY, providing virtual therapy throughout New York State.